I understand that football's a rough game, I played it. But damn, can anyone that's good at it stay healthy? Take a look at the players missing this year's pro bowl, it looks like the 2015-2020 Hall of Fame inductions.

Jamal Williams-DT, San Diego Chargers
Randy Moss- WR, New England Patriots
Antonio Gates- TE, San Diego Chargers
Tom Brady- QB, New England Patriots
Brett Favre- QB, Green Bay Packers
Jonathan Ogden-OT, Baltimore Ravens
Walter Jones- OT, Seattle Seahawks
Patrick Kerney-DE, Seattle Seahawks
Lance Briggs-OLB, Chicago Bears
Tommie Harris-DT, Chicago Bears
Willie Parker-RB, Pittsburgh Steelers
Ladainian Tomlinson-RB, San Diego Chargers
Jason Peters-OT, Buffalo Bills
Jason Taylor-OLB, Miami Dolphins

Continue reading "To Miss Pro Bowl: 2007-08 All-Pro Team"

People keep talking about this sporting even that went down on Sunday; I honestly have no idea what they're talking about. There must've been some intense tennis match or something.

 Anyway, it's the time of year that all football fans are looking forward to. What you plan your year around, that's right! The NFL Draft!

And thanks to the generous people over at the San Francisco 49ers organization, the New England Patriots have the 7th pick of the draft. It's like Bill Gates receiving welfare checks.

Since we're looking at such wonderful prospects, let's look at what the Pats need in terms of immediate help:

QB, WR (multiple), DL, Old Linebacker....

I mean: Right Tackle, Safety/Cornerback depth (depending on status of Harrison and Samuel), and youth at LB

Continue reading "The Biggest Game of the Year That Doesn't Involve Playing!"

    Alright, the Super Bowl was tough (see, you made me bring it up). But come on, just let it go. I thought I could finally put that debacle in the back of my mind- that's until I found this: 

http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?XLIItrut

    In case you're too lazy to click, it's a petition to have Roger Goodell to investigate the time keeping on the last drive of the Super Bowl. You know, the one where the Patriots defense had opportunity after opportunity to win, but repeatedly faltered. Ok, I'll give the Giants the Houdini to velcro-helmet play. The point is, the Giants didn't get lucky, they kicked the asses of the 11 players in silver helmets on that drive. So don't go signing useless petitions and bitching about some lame excuse for the Patriots losing.

Continue reading "Just Don't Sign It"

I would love to have a nice piece about Roger Clemens right here. A nice, satirical gut-shot at Major League Baseball. The only problem is, I already wrote it, and stipulation from The Daily Collegian (www.dailycollegian.com Search: Boys will be boys) prevent me from putting it here.

So instead, let's look at one of the stupedist deals in baseball for a while. The return of a Boston "Foulke" hero. Ah, I'm good.

The Oakland Athletics signed Keith Foulke to a one year deal. It's right here, Bam:

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/press_releases/press_release.jsp?y

 If you'll recall, the last we saw Keith Foulke, he was walking off into the sunset after injuries debilitated him the year after he masterfully closed games in the World Series. Oh, I'm sorry, he attempted to pitch in any relief role possible as his ERA shot up to reach Eric Gagne numbers. Speaking of Gagne, how can a former Cy Young winner pitch so terribly and still be linked to steroid use? It's like getting a 48 on a test and then the teacher finding your cheat sheet.

Continue reading "No Clemens: Just Stupid Deals"

 Stadium talk highlights FanFest

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080210&conte 

Usually, the above statement would  not be too unusual; teams get new stadiums all the time- it's cool.

But in the case of the Florida Marlins, it means they get their own stadium-finally. It's not like in Oakland, where they share the Oakland Colosseum. No, the Marlins play at Dolphins Stadium. This isn't very publicized because, you know, no one actually watches the Florida Marlins play baseball since they're the least identifyable team in baseball.

Name some Marlins players. Dontrelle Willis, Miguel Cabrera, Josh Beckett- all gone. The only people that ANYONE has heard of on the Marlins are Dan Uggla and Hanley Ramirez, and that's only because of their fantasy value.

Continue reading "No One Cares About the Marlins"

ESPN has decided to relieve Michelle Tafoya and Suzy Kolber of their sideline reporting duties for their Monday Night Football NFL broadcasts. Mostly because nobody cared what they had to say. In case you forgot (lucky you), Tafoya and Kolber are the ones that interupted the game to either A) have a pointless interview with someone, maybe an ex-player, someone's mom in the stands, the mascot; people that don't matter. Or b) give a pointless report on some player that can either wait until halftime or, if it was important enough, have the play-by-play guy do it.

Speaking of announcers, they're too many. Two's enough. I mean, ading Kornheiser wasn't really necessary, and, although he's great on PTI and in the paper, he's pretty bad at broadcasts. This also becomes ridiculous when they have a guest up into the booth (Don Shula anyone?) and you're forced to watch 4 old men cramped into a booth rather than a replay of something you might've missed on the last play or the players seeting up for the next. It also doesn't help when you have the old fart Shula up there openly rooting for one team and dragging the rest of the braodcast with him. It's not asking much, just don't openly root for one team, you damn fossil.

Continue reading "Joe Namath Seen Wandering New York Looking For Drunken Kisses"

Bill Parcells' new gig as the Miami Dolphins is Vice President of Football Operations. What does that mean? No idea. But it sort of sounds like the sort of obscure title that sort of does everything. So, in Leyman's terms...

We have until week three until the Tuna's down there call plays for Offense, Defense, Special Teams, and one new side of the ball that he made up, just now.

So Bill's pretty much the imaginary owner/coach that exists in Madden. It happens all the time. Bill got bored taking all these good teams to the Super Bowl; the guy wants a challenge. So he takes the worst team and dumps all the overpriced, old players for young, fast, cheap ones that will develop over 3 years and then he'll win the wild card and get into the playoff with John Beck and Ted Ginn (Matt Ryan if he's feels naughty with the no. 1 pick). He's probably not going Ryan, if I know my Madden strategies (and I do) he's trading that sucker for a couple first-rounders which will turn into high 80's players in a couple years and they'll get some nice "playmaker" and "icon" titles.

Continue reading "Parcells Wants to Start Over in Franchise Mode"

I know I've been writing a lot of football stuff; I'm trying to compensate for the season ending, hoping that writing will somehow extend it.

Anyway, as the above title indicates, Spring Training is just around the corner for the Boston Red Sox! 

Well, maybe not the actual spring training, but the pitchers and catchers showing up. That's just as exciting! You get to see um... the guys throw and... catch. Oh! There's the ever-eventful "covering first base" drill, were pitchers attempt to play defense for a week and then leave the manager praying that they'll remember how to do it when the season comes.

Continue reading "3 Day 9 Hours 19 Minutes 15 Seconds"

Today's contestant: The Tampa Bay Devil Rays!

What's that? They got a new logo? Oh, my bad.

What? They changed it again? And their name? Sorta?

 Aww... it's the Devil Rays. They think they're in our division. How cute.

Now, you may recognize some of the legendary names that have come out of the (Devil?) Rays organization over the years. Names like: Julio Lugo, Fred McGriff, Jose Canseco, Aubrey Huff, and Greg Vaughn! It's no wonder Cooperstown is up to the rafters in Rays plaques.

Continue reading "It's Time for... Better Know An Obscure Sports Team!"

Today we'll be covering...

The Florida Panthers! 

Yeah, in case you didn't know- there's a hockey team in Florida called the Panthers. I dont' know why they exist. I'm gonna try to do this with no research- let's see how it goes.

I can't name a playe on this team. Ever. Then again, they could've been an expansion team this year and I'd have believed it. I just saw the Boston Bruins play them why I was eating my buffalo chicken chowder bread bowl at the Souper Bowl the otehr night. I've heard of the Tampa Bay Lightning, they won it all a few years back with St. Louis, LeCavalier, and that goalie, Nikolai Havi... Habby, Habi... Holly.. Halibubu? Habubooblin? Habibubu... What? It starts with a K? Screw it I'm looking it up. (Khabibulin).

Continue reading "It's Time for... Better Know An Even More Obscure Sports Team!"