Ok, in honor of my editor restoring my interest in actually, you know, typing things on this website, I'm going to post something.
This is for my loving fanbase... all three of you.
So, today was the draft. And all people care about that happens in the draft come down to a few things:
-Who got picked first (Which sucks nowadays since we find out like, 3 days before. Cuz y'know, screw suspense)
-Who's the poor asshole that got invited to the draft and had to sit in the green room for like, 4 hours before he gets picked as his dreams are slowly crushed in front of a national television audience that wants nothing more to see him cry. (Didn't even happen this year. Come on NFL, who invites people that actually get picked?)
-Who's the random guy that nobody's heard of that the Patriots end up picking? After trading down like, three times. (Went down perfectly)
-Who are the ESPN analysts going to ridicule for making an absolutely terrible pick? (Usually the Jets)
Whether or not you care about the draft, you can appreciate the importance of the process. It's like a graduation and college (or job) induction at the same time. You get to follow your team and what picks they make. You can also follow the players you enjoyed watching in college. The storylines that emerge during the draft also add some drama to the event.
This is all nice, especially if you're kinda nerdy about these things. However, it doesn't even barely change the fact that IT'S LONG AND BORING AS HELL.
All 32 teams are 20 feet away from the podium and EVERY SINGLE ONE takes the entire alloted time to make sure they don't pass up the 0.00076% chance that some teams going to call them in the last minute and a half with a trade offer. At least they trimmed down the time for the first round picks from fifteen minutes, which was just tortue for people that actually cared.
I must digress, I didn't watch a lot of it because I was, you know, doing stuff that was more productuve. We made tie-dye shirts! (Is it possible to get a tie-dye-able shirt with a tie fighter dying on it. So you can say you're tie-dyeing a tie dying?)
What I did watch (very closely, I might add) was who the Patriots (eventually) drafted. Not being one to deviate from tradition, Belichick and company traded down from their no. 7 overall pick aaaaall the way down to end of the round at no. 10. So, by the way, was just so the Patriots could swap a fifth rounder with a Saints' third rounder.
Their eventual pick was Jerod Mayo (pronounced like... jer-odd) linebacker from Tennessee. And like every year, no one predicted this pick. All the mock drafts had either Branden Alberts from Virginia or Vernan Gholston from Ohio State. Gholston went one pick earlier to the Jets and Alberts went fifteenth to the Chiefs.
Mayo is a linebacker (inside, outside, whatever) from Tennessee, a very nice school that's produced very nice players (except Peyton Manning... douche). Mayo is just one of those guys that was actually really good, but nobody bothered to cover. They were too busy sniffing Darren McFadden's jock strap and sucking up to Howie Long's kid. He'll be a good player, just because the patriots drafted him.
And now to finish up, I'm going to pick a player from random of thetop 31 picks of the draft via http://www.random.org/integers/
Pick no. 25 Dallas Cowboys. Mike Jenkins, CB, South Florida
Meet Mike Jenkins.
Shakespeare once wrote:
If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
This is relevant because... ok, it's not. Mike Jenkins has never read Shakespeare in his life. But fortunately for you, you just did. Stop reading sports and read some Shakespeare, chicks dig Shakespeare.
Mike Jenkins is relevant because he hails from the university of sourth Florida that famous for... uh... this:
Let's go Bulls!
