Samuel speaks with a forked tongue

Did I see Asante Samuel's nose grow in front of my own eyes on Friday?
His press conference announcing his signing with the Philadelphia Eagles didn't fool anybody. Samuel was always going to the team that was willing to sign the fattest paycheck, and Philadelphia was there waiting with a six-year, $57-million offer for the 27-year-old cornerback.
A fourth round pick in 2003, Samuel becomes the latest New England player to leave for greener pastures after winning multiple Super Bowl rings with the Patriots. Just like the rest of them, he reverted to the old standard about how football is a business and he needs to take care of his family. Fair enough. I respect a guy's right to make his money. A football player's career is very short. But don't present the decision like Samuel did with this little gem during his introductory press conference:
"I just want a chance to be able to win and get back to the Super Bowl. That's why I picked the Philadelphia Eagles."
Uh, Asante? Hello? Asante? That's probably not where you wanted to go with that. Talk about starting your career in Philadelphia with a public relations mistake. Admitting that you took the money would have been honest, and while it does seem a bit greedy, there's not a single person who wouldn't do the same thing. But Samuel lied. He covered his avarice with the promise of championships, something that Philadelphia is nowhere close to attaining with problems at quarterback (Donovan McNabb is being run out of town), on defense (Jevon Kearse just got cut and they can't stop the run) and at the skill positions (can anyone name one receiver that Philadelphia has that could be considered a top-20 fantasy pick?). The Eagles don't even come close to comparing to the Patriots in those positions (Tom Brady and Randy Moss take care of the first and last arguments and the defense was ranked fourth in the league this past season). Samuel started the next phase of his career as a fraud.
Lawyer Milloy, Damien Woody, David Givens, Deion Branch and Willie McGinest quickly come to mind. How did the postseason go for those guys last year? That's right -- none of their respective teams made a conference championship game. Milloy continues to rot in Atlanta. Woody served time in Detroit and put up with the Lions' mediocrity. Givens has done nothing but get hurt during his disaster with Tennessee. Branch was a bust in Seattle this year, hardly worth the high draft picks the Seahawks gave up to get him, and continued his disturbing injury trend. McGinest was looking for one last payday to become a spare part with the Browns.
Samuel made no secret that he wasn't happy about being designated the New England Patriots' franchise player last season. I can't help but pity a guy who made about $1.5 million per interception in 2007, a total of almost eight figures in salary for six picks. That total was four less than Samuel's 2006 total, no doubt something he will rationalize by saying that teams weren't throwing at him as much out of respect for his superior ability. And I'm sure he didn't drop the pen that he used to sign that new contract like the ball that he couldn't catch in the fourth quarter of Super Bowl XLII. Samuel had a chance to clinch New England's perfect season literally slip right through his fingers.
I've got some news for you, Asante. Deion Sanders makes that catch. Champ Bailey makes that catch. Antonio Cromartie, my new pick as the league's best corner, makes that catch. You didn't. Those guys don't allow David Tyree, a No. 3 receiver at best, to cut inside and catch a touchdown pass in that same Super Bowl when you have him in man coverage. How's Samuel going to do with Terrell Owens and Plaxico Burress in his division next year? They're a little better than Marty Booker, Lee Evans and Laveranues Coles.
The San Francisco 49ers are to blame for this. Their reckless decision to sign Nate Clements to an eight-year, $80-million deal last offseason should have earned them a mandatory award from The Salvation Army for charity and public scorn from every other organization in the NFL for setting an insane price to meet. Clements had 23 interceptions in six seasons with Buffalo and just four with the 49ers this year, good for an average of $2.5 million per pick -- not quite the return San Francisco was looking for on a $10-million investment. Clements totaled a measly 14 passes defensed in 16 games -- you do the math. Of course Samuel was the better player, and the Patriots, as usual, wouldn't overpay because some other team that has no chance of winning a Super Bowl anytime soon decided to clog up its cap room with an inexplicable contract. They have championships to win. Samuel will still be busy counting his money and begging for that chance to get back on the big stage come January 2009.