A few select knuckleheads are in the sporting headlines today. The prospect of taking a few cheap shots at them is much too rich for me to pass up, as any loyal readers of this blog know, and I don't want to disappoint anyone. So, without further delay, and since Game 4 of the NBA Finals is approaching quickly, here are the three objects of my scorn and ridicule.
--Plaxico Burress and Jeremy Shockey, New York Giants
These two guys deserve each other, and Eli Manning doesn't deserve to be tortured by either of them anymore. Burress and Shockey both showed up to Giants' minicamp this week under their own little storm clouds. Burress is unhappy with the 6-year, $25-million contract he signed three years ago and wants a new deal. Shockey is ticked that he's been involved in trade talks throughout the offseason, a divorce that started before the Super Bowl last year when he broke his leg and missed the postseason.
Let me be clear that, as a New England Patriots fan, I want the Giants to go 0-16 this year. I can forgive New York for spoiling the Patriots' perfect season, but I'll never forget it. I hope they lose each game 70-0. With that tangent out of the way, let's get back to the issue at hand. Burress is represented by Drew Rosenhaus, an agent who never met a client he didn't think was underpaid. The Giants will have extreme pressure put on them to give a lucrative new deal to a guy who can't seem to stay healthy for a full season. There's no way they should give Burress money comparable to what Randy Moss (3 years, $27 million), Terrell Owens (4 years, $34 million) or Larry Fitzgerald (4 years, $40 million) received in their own extensions this offseason -- he simply isn't as good as they are. The Giants are at their best when they run the ball, chew up the clock and let Manning convert short third downs to possession receivers like Amani Toomer and David Tyree.
As for Shockey, New York was able to win without him. Enough said. He's constantly creating negative press with his seemingly daily appearances on Page 6 of the New York Post, publicly questions Manning when he doesn't think he's involved enough in the offense and, like Burress, can't seem to play a full season. David Dunn was an adequate replacement at tight end during the postseason. Let Shockey limp off to some other team who will be stuck listening to him whine and bitch for the next few years.
--Chad Johnson
Yet another Rosenhaus client and NFL wide receiver (What's with these guys?), Johnson created a stir by showing up to Cinicnnati Bengals minicamp on Thursday. It's hard to say that he did much else, because Johnson sure didn't seem like he wanted to participate.
Johnson missed the morning workout with a mystery injury, something that has yet to be determined or confirmed by Johnson or club personnel. He then caught a few passes during the afternoon session before spending the rest of the time on the sidelines, a white towel draped over his head almost in a sign of surrender.
Cincinnati coach Marvin Lewis has vowed he will let Johnson sit out a full season before he accommodates Johnson's trade demands, a bold stance if Lewis carries through on his threat. We certainly saw today that Johnson is pretty serious about not playing for the Bengals ever again.
Here's another case of choosing to believe or ignore what you see. Do you want Johnson's production, and are you willing to live with the occasional distraction or explosion at your quarterback? Or do you have a young signal-caller who will run in fear when Bad Chad comes out to play (or not play)?
Rosenhaus defended his client by saying that Johnson has a sore back. That's about as good a smokescreen as you can throw up injury-wise. Sore back is right up there with sore hamstring -- it can't be proven what sort of damage either body part has endured. What can be certain is that Johnson's relationship with the Bengals is fractured and that potential suitors had better beware of the mess they might be getting into by taking him on.
--Milton Bradley
Last and certainly not least, we have a guy who ended his own season last year being wrestled to the ground by his own coach and tearing a knee ligament.
Yes, something like that could only happen to Bradley, an immensely talented outfielder who racks up trouble as easily as he rips base hits and drives in runs. Now in Texas, his sixth team since 2003, Bradley was angered by some comments that Kansas City Royals analyst Ryan Lefebvre made during Wednesday night's game. Bradley happened to be in the clubhouse to catch Lefebvre's criticisms, which basically amounted to calling Bradley a malcontent who has sabotaged his career at times with bad behavior. Bradley attempted to make his way from the clubhouse to the press box to "introduce" himself to Lefebvre.
Bradley's idea of a handshake greeting might be different that most. He got up close and personal with Los Angeles Dodgers' fans when he fired a water bottle into the stands in 2004, returning the bottle to the place where Bradley said it came from. Bradley also was about to do bodily harm to umpire Mike Winters last September with San Diego, charging after Winters before his own manager, Bud Black, wrestled him to the ground. Bradley suffered a season-ending knee injury and the Padres, crippled offensively, missed the playoffs.
The shame of all this is that Bradley currently leads the American League in batting average (.333) and slugging percentage (.629). His talent has never been in doubt, and neither has his standing as one of baseball's biggest knuckleheads. It's something he has in common with the men listed above, and it's not exactly a group that you want to belong to.
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