Cowboys rounding up drama at Valley Ranch

An overrated cornerback is taking shots at an overrated safety. A defensive end who thinks he's one of the best in the National Football League is walking out on practice. One of the league's biggest troublemakers is looking to elbow his way into the picture on both sides of the ball. An aging wide receiver is threatening to sue the team over the treatment of his chronically bad right knee. The quarterback is trying to break up with his superstar girlfriend, and her PR machine won't let it happen.
Welcome to the nuthouse that is Valley Ranch, home of the Dallas Cowboys.
The true irony here is that the team's owner, Jerry Jones, isn't involved in any of this. Jones is usually the one to stir the pot with his brashness and daring, but even he's steering clear of what seems to be an especially busy offseason. Perhaps Jones senses that his team is on the verge of imploding and he doesn't want any blood on his hands. Or maybe Jones believes that all of this will blow over once training camp starts for real, the foolishness swept into the background by the actual business on the field.
For now, we all can watch and laugh at the dysfunctional Cowboys. Terence Newman is sniping at Roy Williams. Greg Ellis is upset about his lack of reps during optional workouts. Pacman Jones is standing at the gates, still sidelined by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell but already staking out a spot alongside Terrell Owens on offense. Jones must believe that Terry Glenn is never coming back, and Glenn is fighting with the Cowboys over an injury waiver that the team wants him to sign before he ever takes the field again. Tony Romo has other problems -- namely, Jessica Simpson. Actually, Joe Simpson, her father, and his constant meddling is what's keeping Romo awash in Advil.
Newman is criticizing Williams' lack of coverage skills. Williams is a safety who loves to hit people and has never tried to represent himself as anything else. Newman, on the other hand, will tell you that he's a shutdown corner who can stop any receiver in the NFL. Elite corners are usually judged by their interceptions, and Newman has 16 in five full seasons -- or 3.2 per year. Sounds pretty below-average to me. Discuss.
Ellis has a good year in 2007. His 12.5 sacks and three forced fumbles earn him a spot with the game's best defensive ends. The two numbers that work against Ellis are 11 and 32 -- his years spent in the league and age, respectively. He likely has two to three more good seasons left, and the Cowboys probably don't want to waste a single rep of his at any time. Someone needs to sit him down and explain that he is being protected and that he could have had 16-17 sacks had he not missed the first three games of 2007.
Pacman is just one more ego to add to the collection. There's no guarantee that Goodell will let him back in the league, but the fact remains that he's listed at 5-foot-9 (which means he's 5-7) and that doesn't usually qualify as an acceptable height for a receiver. Pacman is a corner who can't cover anybody. He's basically a glorified kick returner who Floyd Reese, an analyst stealing money from ESPN right now, fell in love with while he was the general manager of the Tennessee Titans and foolishly drafted with the No. 6 pick in 2005. There's more downside here than anyone could imagine.
Glenn made $5.82 million last season to play four snaps. He had two surgeries on his right knee and Dallas is trying to protect itself this season by asking Glenn to take a cut from his $1.7 million salary to $500,000 should his right knee act up again. Glenn is refusing and showing the selfishness that plagued his exit in New England. Could another divorce be on the way in Dallas?
Romo deserves his own magazine at this point. He's been on the cover of Us Weekly, OK! and Star more than Paris Hilton in the last six months since he started dating Simpson. Romo is allowing himself to be used by the washed-up pop princess and the media madness that surrounds her. What we saw during her MTV show Newlyweds was all style and very little substance, something that eventually drove away husband Nick Lachey. It's bad enough that Romo can't seem to play good football while Simpson is in the stands, mugging for the cameras in a pink Romo jersey from her luxury box. It's even worse that a guy who has zero championships to his credit is spending most of the offseason dodging break-up rumors. And Romo is supposed to be the team's leader. His penchant for public mistakes and additional drama makes him the perfect judge for Dallas' kangaroo court.